


Make It Work

by weird_situation



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-10
Updated: 2012-08-10
Packaged: 2017-11-11 19:54:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/482297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weird_situation/pseuds/weird_situation
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint is a Tim Gunn fanboy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make It Work

**Author's Note:**

> I watch too much Project Runway. Tim Gunn is perfection. Also he was supposed to actually be in this fic, but that didn't happen.
> 
> Just some silly crack because I felt like it.

“Oh my god. Oh my fucking god. Natasha, are you seeing this?” Clint’s voice was strangely high pitched and breathless over the coms.   
  
“What are you talking about? We are in the middle of an alien attack; I’m seeing all sorts of things.” Natasha stabbed the little yellow koala looking thing that had been trying to gnaw on her leg.   
  
“Why’d you have to stab the little guy in the eye? That’s just cruel,” Tony said, zipping by, blasting two more koala-like creatures that were gearing up for an attack on Natasha.   
  
“Shut up about the aliens! Do you people not even realize who is here?” Clint managed to snap himself out of his daze long enough to shoot several aliens that were climbing on Steve’s back.   
  
“Thanks, Hawkeye. Maybe keep that focus on the battle instead of whoever you’re excited about?” Steve slung his shield towards an alien that was latched onto Thor’s hair, decapitating it.   
  
Thor grinned at Steve and went back to playing whack-a-mole with great enthusiasm.   
  
“But you guys don’t understand. It’s Tim Gunn!” Clint screeched.   
  
“Who?” Steve looked up at Clint, not that the archer could see his confused expression.   
  
“Seriously? I will introduce you two later.” Of course Tony would know Tim Gunn.   
  
“Really? I love you so much right now, Stark, you don’t even know.”   
  
“Do you love me enough to do my paperwork?”   
  
“I love you enough to blow you. Paperwork is a whole other level of love.”   
  
“There will be no fellatio between teammates that are in already in committed relationships,” Coulson’s voice cut through Tony’s laughter and Steve’s sputtering.   
  
“Buzzkill,” Tony muttered, repulsors blasting away at the aliens. “I think we got them all. And can I just say I really hope no little kids were watching? Pretty sure superheroes killing cuddly animals is going to scar someone for life.”   
  
“They were ferocious foes, not cuddly creatures, my friend,” Thor said, coming to stand next to Steve and Tony. Natasha made her way over, Hulk trailing behind her.   
  
“Barton, get over here right now,” Coulson snapped, knowing that Clint was probably making his way towards Tim Gunn instead of over to the team.   
  
“But it’s  Tim Gunn ,” hissed Clint. “Do you even know how amazing he is?”   
  
“I’m aware,” said Coulson. “I’m also aware of the fact that you were bitten by several of the alien lifeforms today and need to go to medical. Don’t make me send Steve out to get you.”   
  
Clint showed up several minutes later, pout firmly in place.   
  
“What’s so special about Tim Gunn?” asked Steve.   
  
Hulk perked up at the name. “Hulk make it work!”   
  
“...what?” Steve’s eyebrows drew together in confusion.   
  
“Oh my god. Why hasn’t anyone shown Steve Project Runway?” Clint sounded like this was the most offensive thing he’d ever heard.   
  
Steve’s voice was low when he asked Tony what Project Runway was; he didn’t want to incur Clint’s ire.    
  
“Reality show about fashion designers. There’s challenges and people cry a lot. Tim Gunn is their mentor.” Tony shrugged. He’d been a guest judge once. They never aired that episode.   
  
“I greatly enjoy the one called Mondo. His use of bright colors brings me joy. Tis a pity he was not victorious.” Thor crossed his arms and glared at the sidewalk littered with dead alien koalas.   
  
“...I don’t know what a Mondo is.” Steve backed away from Thor as the god’s glare transferred from the sidewalk to him.   
  
“Right then, I think it’s time for a field trip,” Tony broke in before Thor decided to defend Mondo’s honor.   
  
“Field trip?” Clint perked up from where he’d been sat down so a medic could stitch up the various gashes on his arms.   
  
“Well. I have to make some calls first. But yes, field trip. Soon.” Tony wandered away, already barking orders at Jarvis.   
  
“Santino was the best of any season,” Natasha said idly, wiping purple alien blood off of her knives.   
  
Thor glowered at her, but refrained from starting an argument at Coulson’s sharp look.   
  
Soon the Hulk turned back into Bruce and the scientist took the shirt Coulson held out with a bemused look.   
  
“Were we talking about Project Runway at all?”   
  
Steve sighed. “Does everyone watch this show except for me?”   
  
The chorus of yeses didn’t surprise him.   
  
Tony joined the team again and Clint turned to him eagerly.   
  
“Well?”   
  
“Well what?”   
  
“Don’t be a dick.”   
  
“Default mode; sorry, I just can’t help it.”   
  
“I swear I will let Darcy give Dummy a makeover. When she’s drunk.”   
  
Tony’s eyes narrowed. “Well played.”    
  
Clint preened and then made grabby motions with his hands that had finally been released by the medics. “Tell me.”   
  
“We’re going to guest star on a very special episode of Project Runway. We have to wait until they’re down to the final six designers, but they’re going to design us outfits. It’ll be fun.”   
  
The high pitched screeching noise that escaped Clint’s mouth caused everyone within the immediate vicinity to drop into defensive stances and scan the area for threats. Natasha was the first to recover and she punched Clint in the arm.   
  
“What was that for?” Clint gave Natasha a bemused look.   
  
She rolled her eyes and made her way over to Bruce, immediately beginning to talk in low voices. Clint watched them suspiciously before turning to the others. With a quick grin, he threw his arms around Tony and babbled his undying love.   
  
“...and I’ll make you waffles every morning, or night, or whenever you sleep for more than an hour at a time, and I’ll give you back scratches, and-” Clint was cut off when Coulson smacked the back of his head.   
  
“Nothing promised to you in the last five minutes was binding in any way, shape, or form,” Coulson told Tony.    
  
Tony just held up his hands and shook his head. “I would never take him up on any of those. Except maybe the maiming of those who slight my honor. That was a good one.” He noticed Coulson’s glare. “Or not. Maiming is bad. And I have no honor to defend.”   
  
Clint, arms still wrapped around Tony’s neck, turned his head and pouted at Coulson. “I’m just facilitating group bonding. Isn’t that what you keep telling me to do?”   
  
Tony couldn’t quite hide his smirk, and Clint grinned at him before giving him an exaggerated peck on the lips.   
  
“I keep telling you not to shoot at the others with experimental arrows,” Coulson said mildly. “Nothing about facilitating bonds.”   
  
“Awww you just want me all to yourself.” Clint unwound his arms and stepped away from Tony. “I’m all yours. Unless Tim Gunn says he wants to run away together. I will abandon you all for that man.”   
  
“Noted.” Coulson started herding the non-flight capable Avengers into the waiting SUVs so they could go home.   
  
Three weeks later they filmed their episode of Project Runway.   
  
It never aired.


End file.
